Over-50s life insurance ‘just a front for Dignitas’

The Nationwide Crime Company is investigating an alleged rip-off involving older individuals taking out over-50s life insurance shortly earlier than flying one-way to Switzerland, armed with nothing however a small carriage clock.

An company spokesperson stated, “as a part of our investigation, we’ve being reviewing distressing footage of varied TV adverts. They present inexplicably enticing outdated {couples} with shit-eating grins, sitting round conservatories buying what they imagine is ‘life insurance’ from somebody in a bubble sporting a head-set, was identical to Orwell imagined.

“The advert ends because the couple stroll off hand-in-hand in direction of the horizon of sunlit uplands – or, dying, as we now suspect.

“There’s a clear M.O. ‘Friendly’ firm representatives distract unsuspecting ‘customers’ with free EasyJet flights to Geneva, as they actually signal their lives away.

“They don’t spot that the tickets are one-way and on the odd occasion they do query it, the rep just presents them with some more freebies, like a carriage clock or vouchers for a walk-in bath. That normally throws them off the scent.”

One sufferer, Barry from Wigan who noticed the rip-off stated, “as soon as he offered flights, I thought, this is all wrong. Err, Geneva? Nice try, dickhead.”

“Signed the the wife up, obviously.”

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